Relationship Articles

The Differences Between Men and Women

Maintaining a deeply connected relationship with someone takes work. Real intimacy doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t continue after the initial “honeymoon phase” without some fine tuning. Lasting relationships require a blend of compromise, time and balance. But when it comes to the differences you and your partner may face as members of the opposite sex, this “blend” may prove difficult to achieve.

It’s not news that men and women are different physically; however, for centuries researchers have pondered the mental differences between the sexes, and the findings are eye-opening.  

Male vs. Female

Not only do men tend to be built differently than women physically, but according to research, their brains are actually wired differently too. A man’s skull is typically thicker than a woman’s, making the stereotype that men are more “thick-headed” actually true. Men tend to rely heavily on the left side of their brain to solve problems one step at a time. On the other hand, women have four times as many brain cells connecting the right and left sides of their brains, which enables them to solve multiple problems at one time.  

The differences in how men and women think can have a great impact on how each sex forms and maintains relationships. But recognizing, understanding and communicating these differences can be the first step in avoiding ongoing disappointment and frustration between you and your partner.

Compromise, Communication and Continued Happiness

So how do you deal with the natural differences between men and women as one half of a couple? It’s essential to recognize (and accept) that, although it may feel like it sometimes, you and your partner are not the same person. You don’t always think alike, you can’t read each other’s minds and you may have different ways of communicating. This is why it’s so important to compromise and have open-communication to help maintain a happy, healthy relationship.

Find Intimacy on a Deeper Level

Each day, sex bombards us from all angles. From the magazines we grab at the check-out counter to the music streaming from our radios, it’s 2012 and sex seems to be everywhere. In fact, a middle school in Massachusetts recently gave its 7th grade students a sex survey containing questions about oral sex and the number of sexual partners they’ve had. Yet, these students were never surveyed on intimacy or the number of meaningful connections they’ve made.

With age, we learn that real love and true companionship don’t come in the form of sexy lingerie and massage oils. Instead, true intimacy comes from a deeper connection and a more meaningful mental and physical state of being—yes, true intimacy comes from something more important than just sex.

Sex vs. Intimacy

To most, the term “sex” means intercourse; all sexual behaviors prior to the main event, flirty texts to oral sex, are simply a build up to what’s really desired. The occurrence of sexual intercourse is something that’s anticipated and the pressure is on for a stellar performance. Whether we realize it or not, sex is a priority to a majority of adults. The result? A seemingly widespread dissatisfaction for meaningful relationships.

While sexual intercourse is naturally appealing, many miss sight of the fact that there are other sexual activities that offer the same, if not more, intimacy. In some cases, these types of activities can provide even more stimulation and pleasure than the act of sexual intercourse.

Plunging Beyond Intercourse

Lasting relationships plunge beyond sexual intercourse; they involve deep mental connections and commonalities. There are some circumstances that force us to explore new ways of sexually expressing ourselves and these mental connections become even more important to master. For example, you or your partner may have a medical condition that prevents sexual intercourse from feeling pleasurable or you may simply not feel the drive you used to. No matter the case, it’s important to know that you can still connect deeply with someone you care about without engaging in the act of sexual intercourse. A few ways you can connect with a partner without engaging in sexual intercourse are through:

• Sexual touch
• Intimate talking
• Tantric sex

Each of these “sexual intercourse alternatives” can enable you to reach a heightened sense of physical pleasure with the right partner and allow you to connect on a deeper level mentally and emotionally. Whether or not you’re capable of having sexual intercourse, intimate engagement may be something people in general are lacking these days. Instead of taking sex surveys in the 7th grade, maybe we should revert to the days of love notes and hand holding, as opposed to measuring our self-worth by the amount of sex we have.